Okay, what the fuck? What is the big deal about Girl Talk? All the indie press/blogs are all over this guy. Hell, even the hippies are getting into him thanks to his stint opening for Widespread Panic. I’ll give the dude credit, finding all those samples and plugging them in so they mesh is impressive and definitely takes a lot of work. Then again, just because you bust your ass on something doesn’t automatically make it good. If I had to guess I’d say some of his popularity stems from the exploitation of music guilt. Apparently people still believe that liking any pop songs reduces your scene points or some bullshit. Like my friend Ben said “Dudes who would make fun of Kelly Clarkson are at a Girl Talk show singing every word.” It’s retarded. Just because 4 pop songs are chopped up and mashed together doesn’t really change things. The base of what you’re listening to is still that same taboo pop sound, it’s just been made 10 times more annoying. This whole mash-up concept bugs me. Doesn’t it all just boil down to the same thing that got Puffy untold amounts of shit for in the 90’s?

I really want this to review to just be “This album sucks.” but that’s too easy. Track by track I guess:

Once Again – The Ludacris/Boston bit that opens the album isn’t too bad I will admit. It’s all downhill from there though. “Wait ’til you see my dick’s bittersweet symphony” would be an awesome title for this part. I guarantee that some jackoff who’s railed against the misogyny of “The Whisper Song” has danced his/her ass off to this song. Good work, hypocrite. One thing he does throughout the album is put a little snip of one song as a transition from one bit to the next and it drives me crazy. He does it here by dropping the line “I am still thirsty” from Arrested Development’s “Tennesee” in the middle of this track. Wow you have a copy of that!? Sweet! I used to but I sold my copy at a yard sale over the weekend. The point of it being in this song is…?

That’s My DJ – Completely uninteresting. It sounds like someone flipping through a radio while driving only slightly more cohesive. I would like it noted that 1:40 into this song is the first time I said to myself “This review might be a bad idea.” OH PAULA ABDULA’S STRAIGHT-UP! THAT SONG IS AWESO…oh we’ve moved onto to James Taylor.

Hold Up – Seriously, James Taylor’s “Your Smiling Face” over crushed up bits of club hits. “Die motherfucker die” Puffy says to me. “That’s not a bad idea, buddy” I respond. Actually this little bit of Nas’ “Hate Me Now” isn’t too bad…oh nevermind. Laffy Taffy over a sped up bit of the Strokes has killed off the tiny part of me that was just previously enjoying the sound coming out of my headphones. This is the most annoying sound I have ever heard. They should make alarms out of this bullshit. Seriously, a Peanut Butter Jelly Time sample? Jesus fucking Christ.

Too Deep – Okay, so you looped “California” by Phantom Planet and put some Clipse lyrics over it. This is the perfect example of taking a song indie snobs wouldn’t be caught dead listening to and making them feel okay about themselves. “Oh he took that OC song and put raps over it! Isn’t that clever!?” No it isn’t. It’s fucking retarded.

Smash Your Head – I admittedly zoned out for a minute while he went off on a “Rick Rubin Remix” thing for the first half of this song. Remember the Rick Rubin remixes of hip-hop songs? Those were great. Anyway, I would like it noted that at the 1:25 mark I got actually angry at this goddamn album. Flipping back and forth between the awesome (Pharcyde’s “Passing Me By”) and the schockly (Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer”) while Biggie raps is mind bottling.

Minute by Minute – Why do the Ying Yang Twins exist? They are terrible. Oh look! A Neutral Milk Hotel sample! This little remix of The Game’s “Love It or Hate It” is meh, but I don’t necessarily think that’s his fault. The original is so tight that you’d really eclipse it to make any sort of impact. I’m going to go listen to it now so I don’t accidentally shit all over myself.

Seriously that is a good song. Go listen to the original.

Ask About Me – Enh, I can kind of get into this first part. Who doesn’t like PM Dawn? Oh everyone? Sorry. Dear Cassidy: Are you a hustler? Okay good, just checking. I thought I was clear on that point, but Girl Talk speeding it up and repeating it even more than you did really nails it home for me. If you see him on the block be sure to thank him for me. Love, Nick. Oh look Digable Planets! I listened to “Cool Like That” every day while I got ready to go to middle school. Fun Fact: it did not make me “cool like that”. More “creepy and asexual like that”. Too bad that doesn’t flow as well. Could have been a hot remix.

Summer Smoke – Even you can’t fuck up Amerie’s “1 Thing”. It’s good to know some songs are unbreakable. Wow. The chorus from Kayne’s “Golddigger” sped up over Pilot’s “Magic”. That don’t make a lick of sense!

Friday Night – Whoa! Hold up, I think we might have one full song that’s not terrible! We’re almost halfway through and it doesn’t suck! Can he do it? Can he give me a listenable three minutes!? We’re at a minute and half! He could do it! The back and forth of Jay-Z’s “I Know What Girls Like” and the Waitresses’ “I Know What Boys Like” is kind of tight…HOLY CRAP Return of the Mack! Okay Gregg Gillis. You have one song I can kind of get into.

Hand Clap – That didn’t last long. Back to ridiculous club songs. I don’t know if it’s bad per se because I know nothing about club music. Maybe Gwen Stefani (who I would assume is a frequenter of clubs) is being honest when she tells me that “this is her shit”. Here’s a question; do I find club music annoying because I can’t dance, or can I not dance because club music is annoying? Have an opinion you’d like to share? Why not write us? Please send your answer plus a S.A.S.E. to the address attached below. You won’t receive anything in return, since I’m going to steam the stamps off and use them myself. I think this album is giving me brain damage.

(I took a break to listen to his “remix” of Grizzly Bear’s “The Knife”. The slight changes you made to Grizzly Bear song is alright, but why lay the Clipse over it? Which song are you remixing? My mind is blown.)

Give and Go – Oh man this part is genuinely good. Then again, you did sample Hall and Oates. That’s the best decision you’ve made all record. I’ve noticed that he samples a lot of songs that I’m sure his audience considers sexist. I wonder if he thinks that by taking them and laying them over his shit buffet makes them acceptable? That thought became too deep for me so I spent the rest of this song wondering how offended Bob Martinez and his wife were at the song “Fuck Martinez” by 2 Live Crew. I would guess “a bit”.

Bounce That – Here’s some of the songs sampled during this 3:23: The Emotions “Best of my Love”, The Breeders “Cannonball”, Elastica, “Connection”, Steve Winwood “Valerie”, Britney Spears “I’m a Slave 2 U”, Pointer Sisters “Jump for My Love”, and Wreckx-N-Effect “Rump Shaker”. Trust me it doesn’t make any more sense listening to it than it does reading it.

Warm It Up – No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. “My Humps”? Seriously? This song cannot be appreciated on any level. This song is what those ten thousand monkeys with the ten thousand typewriters would turn out instead of Shakepeare. Then they would piss in their own mouths. CARRY ON WAYWARD SON!?!? JUST IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS SONG FOR NO REAL UNDERSTANDABLE REASON!?!?! GOD I HATE THIS FUCKING MUSIC SO MUCH!!! It’s like jerking off about your music collection. I would be more entertained if he just held up each record he was sampling. “Remember this one? How about this one? This one’s good too. Hang on, let me stick my penis through this copy of ‘Justify My Love’. Whew, that’s better!”

Double Pump – I got so angry during that last song that I didn’t notice that I paid no attention whatsoever to this song. I went back and the same thing happened again. Well at least it didn’t piss me off. Hat tips, broseph. I am surprised it took you this long to sample Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch though. Your restraint is commendable.

Overtime – “1979″ by the Smashing Pumpkins is a pretty good song. Thanks for reminding me. I have just been warned that if I leave my drink around it’s going to get drunk up. I wish someone would leave their drink around me right about now. Hey Fleetwood Mac’s “Little Lies”. I should probably just go LISTEN TO THAT SONG INSTEAD OF THE BITS AND PIECES YOU WEDGED IN HERE WILLY NILLY!

Peakout – Last song. Thank fucking god. Alright, this middle part got a chuckle out of me. 2 Live Crew’s “We Want Some Pussy” and Wings’ “Little Love Songs” going back and forth is pretty funny. The sample of Pavement’s “Cut Your Hair” isn’t too bad either. Let’s see how this whole thing wraps up. Well look at that! Starting at 1:38 he closes the album out with samples from Trillville’s “Neva Eva” over an original Girl Talk song and honestly it’s really good. Here’s an idea: make more original music. This is easily the diamond wedged down deep in this festival of crap.

The album mercifully fades out and ends, albeit on a high note. Ugh. That was an exercise is pain and I’m still not any clearer on why this music exists, much less enjoyed. It’d be easy to just say it’s not for me and be done with it but for some reason I just can’t. I want to figure out the appeal.

Christ, I really should focus my anger on things that matter.

Minus The Bear is such a hard band to review. Their sound isn’t going to blow anyone away, and at the same time, it’s hard to believe a lot of people are going to flat out hate it. They have a very “inoffensive” sound, I suppose you could say. And their entire discography is very consistent in this aspect. There’s no real terrible albums or ones that are absolutely essential. Despite that, I have to say that I really like this band. The combination of their spacey-math-prog music and the lead singer Jake Snider’s laidback and similarly spacey vocals just works for me.

With that in mind, they recently released their third full length album, Planet Of Ice. It’s a very adept title in that the synths almost have a cold, calculated feel to them in many of the songs, with the guitars alternating between rough and fuzzy to spaced and relaxed. This feeling runs through many of the songs, but is very evident on songs like “Knights”, where you have very tight sampled keyboards mixed with distorted guitars. The overwhelming feel from the album is very relaxed and indefinite, which makes it hard for me to really say a lot about it exactly, much like their other releases. I think the songwriting is much improved from their previous album, and technically, the musicianship is as good as ever. It’s a nice mix of mathy type riffs that are in a more pop friendly sense, which doesn’t make sense really until you hear it.

There’s a lot of subtly good music on this record, and what’s most important, in my mind, is the atmosphere you get from it. The opener “Burying Luck” has a darker feel to it, while “Ice Monster”’s brief little clapping breakdown has a very carefree, dance-ish beat to it. “Part 2″ starts like a desolate arctic wasteland, with a minimal guitar beginning the track and its very sparse, isolated feel. Meanwhile, “When We Escape” has the hints of a little prog throughout it (also one of the better standout songs on the album, with memorable riffs and and some nice quick-cut rock sections) and “Lotus” rather brashly goes all in on the prog idea, stretching nearly 9 minutes and at points feeling more like a Mars Volta outtake than a Minus The Bear song, further lending to the whole stretched out, relaxed, undefined feel that the band thrives on.

There’s also a bonus disc, that while it only has 4 songs (2 non album songs, 1 demo, 1 remix) also is worthwhile. Both “Electric Rainbow” and “Patiently Waiting” should have been part of the album and fit the themes I discussed very well.

So when it comes to reviewing this album, it’s no surprise that it’s hard for me to really nail down in words how to describe it. Is it a Great because it’s among their best work? Is it a Good because their sound still is essentially the same as 5 years ago and there hasn’t been a whole lot of change or growth? I don’t know. All I know is that it has been a very catchy album that has both grown more and more on me as I listen, and after 2 weeks I still find myself listening to it quite frequently while riding to work in the mornings. There’s just enough variety and atmosphere to keep me coming back. I’ll call it Great.

So earlier this year, I reviewed Cing’s first American game, Hotel Dusk. After walking away from that with a very favorable opinion, I decided I wanted to give Trace Memory a shot and see if it was any good as well. As it turns out, this game shares a lot in common with Hotel Dusk, albeit in a more primitive form (understandable, as this game is older than Dusk).

While Trace Memory takes a different perspective than Hotel Dusk (overhead top down view as opposed to first person), the conversations all take place very similarly. You find a character, then engage in conversation, with a portrait of the characters and key words that pop up in which you can inquire about. Trace Memory has quite a different way to engage the environment however. When you come to a new area, you will see a new static graphic on the top screen, which you can choose to investigate. From there, you can inspect the prerendered picture and click on “hot spots” to find items, solve puzzles, and get descriptions. I have to say, I’m not crazy about this, because it really makes the game linear. When you see a new image pop up when you walk towards a part of the screen, you know you have to investigate that area, and you will definitely need to find some scrap of information to move the game along. Additionally, these pictures usually only have a few hot spots to click on, which makes it very easy to get what you need and move on. So while Hotel Dusk has a large amount of things to click on (many of them pointless, but still fascinating since there were so many places to inspect things), it’s relatively few here. Another similarity is the end of chapter review, where the character kinda goes into an isolated state of deep thought and the game forces the player to take a quiz based on what is learned during the chapter. There’s no real penalty for messing them up, and it’s really just there for a refresher, since you get a lot of names and info in each chapter.

One of the good things in Trace Memory is the decent amount of puzzles, and most of them are fairly fun to go through. They usually require you to find an item, or use the stylus to solve a puzzle, but in general this is one of the more rewarding parts of the game. Not that the exploration isn’t fun as well, but there just isn’t a whole lot of interaction in the environment. Most rooms are empty shells that just have a couple areas you can stand and inspect 3D rendered images.

But this stuff doesn’t mean a whole lot if the story is good. Unfortunately, that’s a bit of a mixed bag too. I think the main character Ashley and most of the other characters are pretty well written, but there’s very little depth to many of the characters that are introduced. They have one goal in the game, and show little emotion otherwise. The bad guy is deceptive and mean, your ghostly friend is confused and blank most of the time. Again, their roles are well defined and the writing isn’t bad, but you don’t get to really “know” the characters too well. As for the overarching story, it’s a little bit confusing since so many of the secrets in the game are lodged in the past. There’s a lot of talk about Edwards family and their mansion where you spend most of the game, and you try to uncover information about these people, but its hard to keep track of everyone since you never directly meet any of them. Just lots of conjecture about them. Additionally, Ashley’s family story runs parallel to the events you uncover in the mansion, and most of that takes place in the past as well. So those storylines, in addition to figuring out where Ashley’s dad is and who her ghost friend D is and figuring out what Trace is, all intertwine to form the story. It’s a pretty big amount of stories, and they all get addressed, but none of them really feel like they are wrapped up succinctly, aside from Ashley’s father drama (and even that has some issues if you look past the surface of it).

And this, in part, is because the game is so incredibly short. I took my time, explored every environment, replayed a couple areas to get a better grasp on the story, and I still finished the game in a little over 5 hours. While I have no problem with short games (I can barely finish anything over 15 hours gameplay nowadays), this game is simply too short. 5 hours for a brand new game that costs $30 when it’s new? Not really worth it. Luckily this game populates bargain bins everywhere and can be had for less than $10. At that price, I would say it is close to justifying its worth-as-a-game versus its-price-to-the-consumer. 5 hours wouldn’t be so bad if it was very replayable, but its a straight up adventure game that you will likely have little urge to want to play again. Once the secrets are revealed and the twists are discovered, the cat is out of the bag. There’s nothing much else to do. They do give you a few reasons to replay it and find some new stuff, but it doesn’t contribute to the story in much of a meaningful way.

Additionally, the game is pretty easy and rarely presents a challenge with its puzzles. I got a little stumped on one or two, but for the most part it was very obvious what you had to do. You can’t move to new areas without solving the puzzles, and the answers to the puzzles are rarely further than a room or two away. It’s also fairly easy to find the important items when inspecting one of the rendered images. Ashley will almost always say something very simple and boring about an item if it has no importance. The writing for these parts is canned and robotic, with stuff like “The couch is brown”, “The wallpaper is faded”, or “The fireplace is dusty”. It’s competent, but there’s zero life to it, which Hotel Dusk managed to fix by having a great writer inject sarcasm and humor into even the most pointless items. Then you get the things you click on that have an immediate reaction followed by a conversation with the characters, and it is pretty likely what you click on plays an important role in the current puzzle of plot point. When you realize the pattern, the game feels very linear, which is disappointing.

The art of the game is well done, however, and pretty nice for anime styled art. That’s probably my least favorite type of art, but it’s well done here. The 3D graphics as you roam around are serviceable, though not particularly detailed. They benefit from being zoomed out. In the rare instance the game zooms in on a character model, you can see how poor the graphics are. But for the most part, it is not an issue. Meanwhile, the music overall is decent but forgettable. Oddly enough, some of the Hotel Dusk themes and sound effects seemed to be borrowed from this, but here it doesn’t really stick out as good or bad.

Trace Memory did prove to keep me captivated for the time I played it. It spins a good little mystery, and it has some good puzzles. The problem is just that there’s not enough game here. I couldn’t believe I was at the end when the credits started rolling. The game builds and builds and you keep expecting more and more from the plot (including the possibility of a pretty not happy ending), and in the end it just abruptly resolves itself, all your initial suspicions being right for the most part, and everyone going home laughing. That’s all right I guess, but they really needed to add a little more story to each subplot and some more puzzles. It’s a good game, but it is way too short. If you like adventure games on the go like I do though, it’s worth picking up for cheap.

“A live album from 1978? Zach must be desperate.”

It would be easy to think that of course, but lately I’ve been listening to this album a lot, and it’s hard to dispute, at least in my mind, that this is one of the best live albums ever released. What you get here is Thin Lizzy at its peak. While Thin Lizzy is already one of my favorite and most underappreciated bands of the 1970’s, this album really shows off what made them so great. Amazing live renditions of their hits like “Jailbreak”, “Boys Are Back In Town”, and “Dancing in the Moonlight” are of course present, and you can tell they get the crowd into a frenzy.

But just playing some good versions of your singles live does not a good live album make. You also get a ripping version of “Emerald”, a song meant for a live audience. Then there’s the Bob Seger cover of “Rosalie” that teases fans with a mini-medley of “Cowboy Song” at the end. Then there is the lesser known rocker “Sha-La-La”, where the band shows off their skills, with some great guitar and drum solos that get the crowd really going. Even songs I wasn’t as familiar with or didn’t think were great in the album version shine here, with doses of improvisation and crowd participation prompted by singer Phil Lynott throughout. The slower songs really pace the album, while the big rock songs really bring a feeling of energy that you can feel on both the excellent recording and through the receptive crowd.

Definitely pick this up if you are a fan of Thin Lizzy, energetic live recordings, or great rock n roll music from the 70’s. It easily fits the bill for all three.

When Dinosaur Jr. released Beyond earlier this year, one thing that was clear from the first note of the album was that it was a true reunion, and a return of a band that hadn’t been whole since the late 1980’s. A few months later, Smashing Pumpkins releases their first album in 7 years, and from the first note of the first song, you…uh…well, you don’t really know who you are listening to. My first thought was “wow, this is pretty fucking heavy for Smashing Pumpkins”. While it’s not necessarily bad, it just doesn’t feel like the same band. (more…)

I’m not as into hip hop as I used to be.

I sort of peaked as a hip hop follower in the mid-90’s, back when I would buy 12″ singles of indie rappers that would probably never sniff a full length in their careers. There was a lot of really good stuff out there back then. I had countless tapes I dubbed off Fakts One’s WBRS show that I would wear the shit out of. That said, the indie hip hop genre got kind of stale to me after a while. Everyone was ripping the same abstract opponent over beats that all tried to sound different in the exact same way (if that makes any sense). Now it takes kind of a lot for a hip hop album to hold my attention, so much so that I really don’t feel capable enough to review one. That sucks because Aesop Rock’s new album “None Shall Pass” probably deserves more than “Music of the Week” raves.

First off, yeah he’s lyrically dense. That’s the standard starting point for any review but it’s kind of a cop out. It suggests that he’s cramming his verses with as many words as possible because he’s got nothing better to say. There’s plenty of narrative woven through the density of his words, you just have to work for it. Listen enough and these bit of story will float to the surface for you to piece them together. Regardless of subject, he’s got one of the better voices and flows around. Still, the best flow in the world isn’t going to make a bit of difference if the beats suck, which, since I’m raving about it, they obviously don’t. This album’s production is split almost evenly between Aesop and Blockhead (aside from one track each from El-P and Rob Sonic) and there’s really not a bad song in the bunch. Aesop got some shit for producing most of “Bazooka Tooth” himself but he’s definitely gotten better in that regard. I don’t think anyone can complain about his work on “Catacomb Kids” or “Citronella” this time around. As good as his beats are though, Blockhead’s work absolutely shines. From the upright bass of “Bring Back Pluto” to the mellow vibe of “No City” all of his tracks are spot on. I’ve already read plenty about the first single “None Shall Pass” so I’m not going to rehash any of that. It should be noted, however, that it sounds like nothing else on the album.

I think anyone who brings up this album is legally obligated to talk about his collaboration with the Mountain Goats’ John Darnielle. Honestly, the ridiculous beat and the hooky chorus of “Coffee” are much more worthy of discussion. That’s not a negative, it just doesn’t add all that much to the song. I’m much more likely to have “We don’t need no walkie talkies” running through my head than Darnielle’s minute of singing. Still it’s one of the standout tracks of the album, especially if you count the “hidden song” follows as part of it. After a few minutes of silence, Blockhead closes out the album with an understated guitar track that’s so slick even a kazoo solo can’t fuck it up (seriously). Meanwhile Aesop spins his most straight forward narrative on the album using pigs as a metaphor for everything that’s wrong in the world. It’s a perfect way to close out the record.

Wow this ended up being being much more of a full article than I was expecting. I guess I am capable of reviewing a hip hop album without sounding like (too much of) a jackass. Then again, maybe if more hip hop albums grabbed my attention I’d have more practice. It’s not my fault, that’s for sure. Anyway, let’s slap a rating on this thing and be done with it. Great!