The Perfect Margarita
By Russell Mantilla Thursday, 23 Aug 2007

How have so many people gotten accustomed to drinking the shit that some clueless bartender claims is a margarita? I hadn’t had a good margarita in years, till i went with my girlfriend to some hole in the wall Mexican restaurant a couple weeks ago. And it was quite blissful, like most perfect things that you remember that you were not expecting. This what is what this recipe hopes to be for anyone looking for something different, and definitely better. But first, we need to clear up a few misconceptions about what a margarita SHOULD and SHOULD NOT be.

First of all, margarita mix can kiss my ASS, as well as those who use it. Why is it used 99% of the time at bars?….because its quick and easy. Its also ridiculously cheap, since all they use is shitty tequila not even fit for cleaning car parts. Second, margaritas are not supposed to be sweet, only what the Grand Mariner gives it. Yes there are dozens of foo foo fruit flavored variations all over the place, and i can honestly say, without doubting my own manliness, that i enjoy one from time to time. But those are “Margaritas”, the way same as Sherv’s Carmel Apple Martini recipe is a “Martini”; i.e. not a traditional execution, but a variation. Three, the “Perfect” margarita is not blended. We’ll leave that up to 7/11 and their slurpee machines to run with that. Four, there’s no reason why a margarita should be a toxic sludge green color; just look at the ingredients. Depending on whether you use Tequila “Blanco” or “Anejo”, your perfect margarita could be a translucent light LIGHT green, to a light greenish brown.

With these points clarified, we can move on to the execution of said “Perfect” margarita. All these measurements are for 1 delectably sublime concoction :

Tools:

  • 1 Shaker
  • 1 Shot glass(for measuring)
  • 1 kosher salt(sprinkled on a plate)
  • 1 Margarita Glass(i use martini glasses; thats all i have)
  • 1 bag of ice(store bought; yes i know your fridge makes ice too…)

Liquor:

  • 1 shot Tequila(the good shit; i recommend Herradura)
  • 1 shot Grand Marnier(i hear you can substitute with Cointreau)
  • 2 shots Lime Juice(FRESH SQUEEZED peoples, none of this little lemon shaped squeeze bottle shit)

It helps to prepare some things before hand. Squeeze your lime juice all at once, maybe a cup or two depending on whether you’re entertaining guest, or just a lush like me. For the salt on the rim, use a rind from a squeezed lime, and rub it along the edge of the glass, then dredge it around the plate with kosher salt.

Now for the preparation of the drink. Fill the shaker about half way with ice; less than that if the shaker is large. Measure out your liquids and pour them into the shaker. Put the lid on, and shake vigorously till your hands are numb, or 5-10 secs for you pansies out there. Pour, serve, and drink…….in that order. Thats it!

The water melted from the store bought ice deludes the lime juice and liquor enough to make this quite refreshing, and since it is purified, your “Perfect” margarita wont taste like you made it with pool water.

Let me know the verdict people!

Cheers!!

5 Responses to “The Perfect Margarita”

  1. Nick Woodside Says:

    This sounds delicious! I never really order margaritas because they always end up being shitty mixes and taste like lime freeze pops. I’m going to give this recipe a shot soon.

    Pssst. You misspelled Marnier. There only thing grand about the Mariners is Ichiro.

  2. Zach Patterson Says:

    this sounds excellent, russ.

  3. Brian Hohman Says:

    No doubt, I am in complete agreement with you Russ! I just have to say in a professional drinkers P.O.V. that you should never go to a bar and expect a great mixed drink. You want something good and flavorful you get your drink at a restaurant, they make it like it is a food order on the spot and all fresh and made to order. Also Nick give him a break it is French, they fuck up lots of things, keep in mind I am French.

    ((kosher my dick!))

  4. Russell Mantilla Says:

    Thanks guys!!

    Its not to say that I’ve never had a good drink at a bar; the worst ones tend to be margaritas tho.

    Another drink that is difficult to find a good rendition of is a Mojito. Thats another one that i need experiment with at home.

  5. jer Says:

    I was in the mood for a good margarita the other night so I decided to use this recipe. It was delicious.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.