Top 5 Breakfast Cereals of All Time (Guest Article)
By Good-Evil Contributor Friday, 2 May 2008

Contributed by Alex Atchley. His website is Hot Dog Storm and his excellent music is here.

5. Honey Smacks

Smacks

The taste of honey oats, a little brown sugar, and a lot of cane sugar blended together for a sticky bowl of excellence. Dig ‘Em is not the best nor the most endearing mascot, but I guess he gets the job done. I dig them.

4. Fruity Pebbles

Fruity Pebbles

Post knows how to fucking market. A Flinstones Cereal? Awesome. Yes. Give me more. This kicks the shit out of Trix and Froot Loops combined. They cannot withstand the awesome might of the hypnotic splendor of the rainbow colored kaleidoscope that is created when the fruity bits hit the milk.

3. Honey Bunches of Oats

Honey Bunches of Oats

This is kind of a ”fancy-ass” cereal compared to the rest. It is a slightly more healthy, almost an intellectual kind of cereal. If Pebbles and Smacks are the Bon Jovi and Kiss of Cereals, Honey Bunches of Oats is Bob Dylan. The flakes and the cluster-fuck of oats with a light touch of honey is pure mouth-magic.

2. Cocoa Pebbles

Cocoa Pebbles

Once again, Post is strong in the ways of the Breakfast… Force. Cocoa Puffs, while good, make me ill after eating 2 or 3 bowls. I could probably eat a box of Cocoa Pebbles straight. In fact, I basically did a few nights ago. The sound of Pebbles crunching loudly in your head is a symphony of puffed rice and processed chocolate that is as undeniable as Bach.

1. Quisp

Quisp

This is it. The king of cereals. This is the cereal that Capn’ Crunch and King Vitamin wish they could be. As with good bands, some of the best are pretty obscure. The same goes for Quisp. Quisp is the underdog of cereal. You might have to special order it. Good luck finding it at Kroger or Wal-Mart. I cannot find this shit anywhere. I have only had it a few times, but I remember the taste like I was gorging myself on it now.

8 Responses to “Top 5 Breakfast Cereals of All Time (Guest Article)”

  1. Chris Derosa Says:

    I only agree with both of the Pebbles brands, but there only should have been one of them.
    Alex….
    I disagree!

  2. Zach Patterson Says:

    yes, i heartily disagree. no raisin bran? come onnnnnn

  3. atchley Says:

    Oh believe me, this could have been a top 20. I am a cereal connoisseur. Its like those wine-fags, but better. I had to pick 5 though. Trust me, I didn’t make these decisions lightly. Raisin Bran Crunch would fall right in at 5.5. I’m a super taster, you guys, no plain shit.

    <3 you guys though 🙂

    Have you guys tried coca puffs and cheerios mixed? its so fucking amazing.

  4. Brian Hohman Says:

    Oh my god I would add Rice Krispie treats cereal, Cookie Crisps, and The old Ghostbuster’s Cereal. Man oh man I do agree with your Honey Bunches of Oat, I eat that shit for every meal :P. Good post!

  5. Andrew Raub Says:

    Never had Quisp and not a big fan of Honey Smacks, but the Pebbles cereals are top notch. So much flavor. Honey Bunches of Oats is one of my favs on the healthy side. I’d have to make two Top 5 lists for myself though, one health and one not. Reese’s Puffs would be at the top of one of them…

  6. jer Says:

    cinnamon toast crunch.

  7. Nick Woodside Says:

    Cinnamon Honey Bunch of Oats. I don’t buy it that often because it’s too good for everyday use.

  8. Zach Patterson Says:

    cinnamon toast crunch? god, what a shit cereal.

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