Final Fantasy XIII
By Sherv Thursday, 29 Apr 2010

After recently beating the Final Fantasy XIII, I came away with some rather mixed emotions that I know won’t jibe with a lot of people who have also big sky canadian pharmacy played it. I thought it best to break it down into the Good and the Bad with handy bullet points: The Good – Having a xanax and viagra bitch for a “main” character was nice to start with, for once. – Loved the battle system – Loved the visuals. Orphan at the end was incredibly well done (as was the music there). – I dug the Crystarium but it wasn’t anything phenomenal. In the end, I preferred Final Fantasy XII’s system to it. – Creature design…man, I loved some of the bosses and monsters encountered…rollerblading goblins are a pleasure to see after 8399258932589 incarnations of the same damn imp/goblin up till now. – The optional marks/missions sidequests that viagra online purchase I have completed so far have been greatly entertaining. – Not having any wretched towns to run around in. XII crafted a masterpiece out of Rabanastre, but damn if it was tedious running around there after hour 50 or so. Simple shop access at a save canadian superstore pharmacy point = good. Hearing whiny assholes who just got shat on by an adamantoise while you run through a destroyed racing circuit = good. Having towns, given the characters’ hair transplant and viagra situation, just wouldn’t make any sense anyway. The Bad – The music overall was a big letdown. The final boss battle tunes are horrible: hearing a solo tenor wail away at one part was so ridiculous. The the second fight with Orphan sounded like a fucking Looney Tunes song, my god what were they thinking? – The upgrade system. Didn’t really add anything exciting, was more tedium than anything else. With this went the thrill of trying to find awesome weapons during the end-game. Final Fantasy IV’s descent into the moon was perfect for this, but I guess the times change and upgrading weapons through a system that is NOT explained is the way to go <_< - The plot. It had some neat twists but all things considered it all felt so schizophrenic at times. No real standout, "AWESOME!" moments at least nothing I can remember at this point. …And The Shit Pancakes – The script. God, how much cheese, cliches, and dumb lines can an idiot pack into this game? The answer: a shit ton. I was laughing my ass off during the last few cutscenes because of how trite and awful I found the script to be. I don’t turn to Final Fantasy for excellent, or even good storytelling these days, but I expect at least a minimum pharmacycanada-rxedtop quality that’s better than an action movie written by a turtle. – The characters were very hard to love. Forget the whining or the over-macho bullshit, over the course of the game I felt less and less compassion for them because they were so…dull. – The final boss is a spiked wheel? WTF? Seriously? Oh wait, she/it has a shell around it or something. No. Please, no. That is ridiculous. Even old Barthandelus looked somewhat interesting and threatening. Oh wait, given by the music I expected viagra rezeptfrei Porky Pig to slide down some stairs on his ass, therefore a spinning spiked wheel is indeed a fearful and monstrous final boss. Gimme a fucking break. – Ragnarok. You’re telling me a monster that looks like one of those dog things from Hellboy is a force of reckoning? Well, in true Final Fantasy fashion I’m sure it’d grow a million times its size and do some cool shit. – I know I mentioned the music before, but the ending song…man, what the fuck, this is awful. – Vanille. And Fang. And Snow. The rest of the cast were tolerable. All that said, I’ve spent over 50 hours playing and will probably play even more…I love the Pulse fields and all that, and there’s plenty more to do. However, knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t start this game. It has some good ideas but ultimately never really puts it all together to be truly great, and the plot and music really leave something to be desired. Motomu Toriyama, please never direct a game again.

7 Responses to “Final Fantasy XIII”

  1. Eric Kennedy Says:

    Well, your review has confirmed for me that I need never play this game. Thanks dude!

  2. Zach Patterson Says:

    well i could be swearing it off before the end of the game, but at Chapter 11, I think I can say that while the game certainly isn’t perfect, it isn’t quite as bad as the note Sherv’s review ends on.

    I like a lot about the game, and I give Squeenix a lot of credit for trying a lot of new things and not just falling back on previous efforts. The battle system is great, and the natural leveling progression through the crystarium is a great idea. The story, while trite at times and a bit overwrought in some places, is at least pretty fresh and interesting. And I haven’t had the character problems Sherv has had either. I mean, I don’t think FF has ever had truly amazing character development, but here it’s at least very well acted and the cinematics are second to none.

    I think it’s a game you kinda need to play yourself and make your own decisions about. It’s far from perfect, but it hides its flaws rather well with its presentation. My major complaint is that it probably holds your hand a bit too long, and the music, while appropriate and there’s even a few pretty good tunes, it lacks the catchiness and history of the previous entries of the series. Oh and fuck the upgrade system. That shit truly sucks.

  3. Eric Kennedy Says:

    Yeah, my thing is, it’s gonna take me probably 20 more hours to finish FFXII. There’s no way I can put up with another game this long unless it is truly, unequivocally amazing. So no FFXIII for me. I’m too old for this shit.

  4. jer Says:

    I agree with Sherv’s critiques, but not quite as strongly. The combat system is so much fun that I think it’s enough to overcome the rest of the game’s shortcomings.

    I was kinda bummed they cut out all the towns and sidequests, but I have to admit it’s removed a lot of the tedium and has managed to hold my interest way more than most FFs do (I’m lookin’ at you XII). I think it’s a better fit for the pick-up-and-play-occasionally gaming style I’ve adopted in my old age.

    And FUCKING FUCK the upgrade system.

  5. Brian Hohman Says:

    I think I am with Eric on this one; Not going to touch this game at all sadly. Oh well atleast Square Enix remakes are pretty quality. :S

  6. jer Says:

    This thread is now about Heavy Rain drinking games.

  7. Brian Hohman Says:

    I plan on Heavy Rain drinking games this whole weekend! Best part, it is supposed to rain pretty heavily!

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