|By Audun Sorlie||Thursday, 21 Feb 2008|
(This review is from the old G-E, I’ll the reposting them over the next few days and update a few of them)
Every now and then, We humans get some divine gifts. We got Vikings, ninjas, the black plague, the wheel then we got Jesus, and then, we got Hulk Hogan.
Now Hulkster is arguably the greatest gift humanity has ever gotten. He is a model of men, a sign of strength, a symbol of sex appeal, and the best recording artist ever to walk on this filthy planet, which he purifies. In 1995, Jimmy Hart and Hulk Hogan sat down and made the groundbreaking album Hulk Rules, getting The Wrestling Boot Band and Hulk’s wife Linda to help out. The results are breathtaking, from the moment you press play, you are taken into a world where you cry, you smile, you laugh and you soil your pants. Hulk provides the vocals and bass for this album, Jimmy Hart on keyboard , J.J. Maguire on guitar and drums and Linda on piano (vocals on track 8). Now let’s run through the tracks quick:
1. Hulkster’s in the House – A solid rock song about the Hulkster, although Hogan only joins in the chorus, it’s quite good, Very catchy and a good opening track
2. American Made – Hulk’s WCW entrance theme, great patriotic song that gets the blood boiling. No vocals from Hogan though, but amazing lyrics, but somewhat stale in comparison with Real American
3. Hulkster’s Back – A great rap song from Hogan. He really shows off his vocal talents as well as rapping, he could easily give rap masters such as Vanilla Ice and Snow a run for their money, he is light years ahead of Eminem.
4. Wrestling Boot Traveling Band – Quite a catchy tune from Jimmy Hart, great for quiet summer nights.
5. Bad to the Bone – Amazing rock tune with Jimmy Hart, This is how rock should be, always.
6. I Want To Be A Hulkamaniac – If I was in charge of this country, I’d get this as the national anthem, this song has amazing beat, great lyrics, good rapping from Hogan, and morals! I suggest playing this once a day, to keep your mind pure.
7. Beach Patrol – A good rap\rock song about Hogan being on the beach, it makes you wanna party party party!
8. Hulk’s The One – Ah yes, Linda Hulk’s masterpiece, everyone should be able to bond with the lyrics in this one, catchy tune with good vocals from a sex-ay lady.
9. Hulkster in Heaven – A lovely ballad from Hulk, if this song doesn’t make you cry, you might as well just start a kitten\puppy killing business, you are that cold hearted.
10. Hulk Rules – Oh yeah, The Hulkster does indeed rule, and this song about him is proof of that, great lyrics and some awesome sax work in the middle of the song. Great way to wrap up this masterpiece.
Get this, you owe it to yourself, your brain needs it.