Lester The Unlikely
By Timothy Falk Wednesday, 11 Jun 2008

So last week I covered a fun little import game for the SNES called Umihara Kawase. Then I decided to try…Lester the Unlikely.

Within the first four seconds of booting my SNES up, I knew this was gonna be a hard endeavor finishing this game. The first thing you hear is something that sounds a little like a mentally retarded kid losing his balance. Actually, I apologize to mentally handicapped children everywhere for me actually likening them to this game. That’s just insulting on so many levels.

Upon actually starting the game, it doesn’t fare much better than the first impression. The game is horrible. You character, Lester, is reading a comic book on a pier. This part alone begins the cycle of confusion you will experience during this game. He then falls asleep on a box that conveniently gets loaded into a freighter without anyone noticing that Lester is there. Then, the boat apparently crashes, and Lester gets stranded on a desert isle.

Upon getting control of Lester, you find he has some issues. Lester controls like he has some sort of unstoppable momentum that no real human could ever have. And he is weak! His only attack is a limp, wimpy kick that is basically your ticket to almost anything you do in this game. Giant Tiki Statue that no person could ever move by himself? Limpy kick it, and it’ll fall over. Turtle biting you? Limpy kick it, and it’ll retreat into it’s shell. And when you die, you curl into the fetal position, where you assumedly cry yourself to sleep on the desert island you’ve found yourself on.

This is a short game filled with cheap deaths, bad ‘WTF’ moments, and lots of nonsense. I mean seriously, some nerd can take out an entire ship of seasoned pirates? I don’t buy it. Also, one of the biggest moments of horror I’ve ever faced came at the end of the game.

The possibility of a Lester 2! Luckily, this game was never successful.

The game achieves a rating of…Terrible.

5 Responses to “Lester The Unlikely”

  1. Zach Patterson Says:

    this sounds like a real winner, tim.

    why in god’s name would you play this to start with?

  2. Charlie Goodrich Says:

    I remember playing this. Everything stated above is true. If you ever see this game I would recommend buying it though… so you can burn it and (just to make sure) blast it with a shotgun.

  3. Zach Patterson Says:

    I would like to know more about the leopard bikini chick on the cover.


    andrew, wouldja?

  4. Brian Hohman Says:

    Well I happen to know from a good source that she would like to get to know alittle more about you, Zach Patterson…

  5. Andrew Raub Says:

    Zach, yes.

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