|By Chris Derosa||Wednesday, 17 Jan 2007|
Pornography has never attempted to make many advancements ever since its conception, and why should it? Provided that we have the right material to view, it takes only a solid minute or two of pornography to get most of our carnal pleasures satisfied until the next time in which it’s needed again. A rather easy formula, for sure, but it will continue to work until the end of time, long after you and I will leave this mortal coil.
Porn has no value or meaning to the viewer other than a cheap thrill, but what of the actors/actresses that partake in these films/photo shoots? Most of them are just amateurs out to make some money to get by in life, because they need to (or so the excuses go). A few actually go on to make a decent living, and transcend to the title of “porn star”. The star of this particular film is none other than Mary Carey.
The 26 year old actress, and former California gubernatorial candidate, doesn’t seem to be slowing down yet. She has already starred in a number of x-rated films over her rather illustrious and successful career (including one of my personal favorites, “Sapphire Girls”), and just recently last year miss Carey produced and starred in the film “Mary Carey Gets Carried Away” under her own Marey Carey Prodcutions company. It’s not all about Mary Carey, however. As a matter of fact, she’s barely in half of this movie!
It starts off simple enough. Carey sitting outside in the shade, relaxing in a lawn chair, and narrating the movie. This serves as the in between moments when the action has ended, so you do watch this segment a good bit over the course of the flick. It works as a good set up since I consider her to be rather attractive in a way, but at the same time I could see it as an annoyance to others. When all is said and done, there is no story to be told in this movie. Just one sex scene after another. So if you want bad acting with your porn, then look elsewhere.
The first real scene does have Carey in it, and it happens to be a lesbian sex scene with Cindy Crawford (no, not that one). The stage is a run of the mill strip club set up, complete with pole and lights. It’s a basic scene with basic acts (dildo included) and nothing too special. Crawford does throw out the “Are you ready to get carried away?” line, and depending on your tastes it may end up ruining the mood. I know it did for me. Overall Mary lets Cindy do most of the work, and it just fades away after 10 or so minutes.
The next scene happens to be the first guy on girl, and it features Tyler Faith. Tyler is a blond, like Mary and Cindy before, so if you favor blonds then you may enjoy her scene. Unfortunately, the film falters for not having much diversity in the female cast. So if you grow tired of blonds you’ll be out of luck for most of this movie. The setting is a bit more vibrant, as it takes place in a bright living room during the daytime. The sex acts follow the typical pattern and the camera shots are decent enough but honestly a bit disappointing for supposed professional work. When the afternoon delight ends, the guy says something about taking a shower, picks up miss Faith, throws her over his shoulder, spanks her and then proceeds to leave the room. It’s a questionable set of actions, for sure, but she seemed to enjoy it. As you might be able to tell by now, the writing has left very little to the imagination.
The next couple of scenes are basically the same formula and add nothing new to the table. There is a brunette added to film, finally, in the form of Gia Givanna, so if you were sick and tired of blonds then maybe she would do the trick. After those scenes are done there’s a brief moment in which another girl, Lauren Kain, is stripping outside in front of a backyard wall. I didn’t see much need for this scene, it serves as nothing but filler in my mind. She’s nice and pretty and everything, but the scene just doesn’t come across as anything special when you’ve already watched other women fornicate beforehand.
After that’s over with, Mary Carey returns for the final act. In a bedroom and with a rather huge and built man, she proceeds to show just how experienced she is. Once again the line about carrying Mary away is spoken, but fortunately it doesn’t have too bad of an effect as it did the first time. Without spoiling much, this is clearly the highlight of the film in my eyes. When it ends, the movie comes back to Carey sitting out in the lawn chair. She utters soemthing along the lines of “I guess it’s true when they say that girls just wanna have fun.”, and the credits roll. It’s a weak ending, for sure, but since it references a great song the writing gets a bit of a pass.
As a movie that featured too many blonds and not enough of the main star, this was a bit of a disappointment. There were too many cameras and not enough quality shots, as well. I can’t even recommend this as a quickie, to be honest. There are a lot more better works out there, and even some amateur stuff blows this out of the water. It goes to show that a quality name doesn’t always guarantee quality satisfaction.