Old Spice Red Zone
By Art Mead Tuesday, 3 Apr 2007

A lot of the stuff we buy everyday has a very queer characteristic that is intrinsic in their design or nature. We buy bananas, and after you eat 3 out of the 6 in the bunch, there is a funky odor as the remainders turn to black. I buy razorblades, each containing 4 seperate razors, and they go dull after week. Milk goes bad much faster than any sell by date ever says. Rotten eggs make my refrigator stink for days.

What’s my point?

Even though every day we waste millions of useful resources and our hard earned money on what will eventually die, rot, break, dull, etc. It is expected, all products, by definition, have a lifespan.

That said, the lifespan of deodorant should be longer than an hour.

Old Spice Red Zone smells decent enough when you remove the cap, not sporty, just sort of piney. It has one of those caps that push the semi-goop through little holes, and then you rub it lavishingly on your pits.

Put on your shirt, go about your business, and about an hour later… WHAM!

It sneaks up you at first, and you start to sniff around. “What is that odd smell?”

Then you realize, of course, that it is you.

The deodorant really smells like a dead rat under your arms within an hour, AND YOU CAN’T GET RID OF THE SMELL.

It sticks with you through at least 2 showers, remains on your clothes until you was them on heavy load. It’s always there.

Of course, being the cheap idiot I am, I kept going back for more.

Maybe it was just that one time…. maybe I was sweating too much… not enough… maybe it is the bird’s nest of hair under there… I kept searching for excuses.

I couldn’t find any.

My brother, coincidentally bought the exact same product at the exact same time I did. His results?

The exact same.

Don’t buy this product, under any circumstances.


8 Responses to “Old Spice Red Zone”

  1. Andrew Says:

    Art, I suggest you try Mitchum deodorant. I was going to write a review in positive light, but I will bestow the knowledge upon you now.

  2. Chris Says:

    I really like the Red Zone body wash. I guess itโ€™s related.

  3. cacomistle Says:

    i like Herbal Clear from target. it’s like aloe or something. and doesn’t contain aluminum

  4. Sherv Says:

    To HELL with Mitchum, that shit is disgusting! Hell, my MOM recommended that to me, and that’s just not right. I actually enjoy this deoderant, it’s musky and nice but it does weaken very quickly. If you want long-lasting protection with none of the fuss then check out the arm and hammer line of crap, those work really well.

  5. Zach Says:

    Seriously dude, Mitchum is awful.

  6. Brian Says:

    I used it and I think I will definately agree with Art, my one shirt smelled like roadkill one night and I seriously was t’ed off cause I was out at a bar(I did end up puking on myself and may have been sprayed by a skunk, I am not sure I was completely trashed). Although, I think it was because I used Old Spice and the fact of having no cologne back-up. That shirt which I have washed twice now still has the funk of a dead animal! And Mitchum sucks….

  7. Andrew Says:

    ๐Ÿ™

    Mitchum haters make me ):

  8. Zach Says:

    i think you need something new dude, your megasweaty pits are probably a result of Mitchum not supporting you properly.

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