|By Zach Patterson||Friday, 27 Mar 2009|
Being a regular customer of Orbit gum, I was very curious when I noticed a new brand of their gum on sale this week. Dubbed Orbit Mist: Peppermint Spray, the box promises “A Hydrating Sensation, with micro-bursts”.
I don’t really know how to take that. But regardless, I figured it’s just another stupid marketing ploy for what essentially is “gum”, so I bought it. And now, after having a few pieces, I have that feeling like I’m not sure what just happened was a good thing or not.
Upon biting into the gum, it feels stiff and hard, unlike the usual soft regular Orbit gum. however, after a few chews, the hydrating sensation kicks in, and it’s kinda like someone unloaded a moneyshot of peppermint into the back of your mouth. The whole thing feels disorienting, with crunchy flavor bursts loaded into the gum and this uncomfortably overjuicy feeling rolling to the back of your mouth. In short, my mouth felt violated and raped by peppermint. And I kinda liked it. But then the thrill leaves the gum shortly after and it’s just another piece of gum in your mouth. The flavor in Mist doesn’t seem to last quite as long as the regular Orbit, so suddenly, I was eyeing up the pack debating whether I wanted some more Peppermint micro-burst mouth rape.
Well, obviously I did. And in the end, I did grow to understand and accept this strange new gum. I’m still a little scared of it, but it’s something different, and I have to admit, I
might have to go back for another hydrating round of micro-bursts. I’m so hydrated right now.